ANS jokes
What do you call a photo of an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
Defenity peeing with an erection
If you want an orphan joke, just look in a mirror.
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
What do you call your retard friend?
A homie with an extra cromie.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field? The baseball field has a home to run back to.
Monster: “I will devour your family.”
Orphan: “Oh.”
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office? Only one of them is scared.
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!