ANS jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
HARRY POTTER MEMES
What is missing on an orphanage computer? The motherboard.
What’s an orphan’s favorite drink?
Foster’s.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone. "Wing Wing Arrow!"
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.