ANS jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
… A quarter pounder with cheese.
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.
What is an emo's favorite song?
"Suicidal."
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
What is the other word for an orphan?
Paren't.
I asked an orphan where his parents were.
(God, I wish I knew)