ANS jokes

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?

Me time.

What do you call an apartment full of black people?

A CON-dominium.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What’s black and white and red all over?

A crushed nun!

What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow natives.

Why are there no chemists in Africa?

Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.

What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!

Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.

What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?

Guarded.

Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?

A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.

If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.

Nobody got it.

Your hairline is an artificial fact.

What’s an orphan's high school nickname?

Lone stone.

Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"

Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?

A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.

Hey, are you bored? Kick an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?