ANS jokes
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
What's red, green, and goes 90 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
How do you make an Indian explode?
You press the red dot.
What's the difference between me and an orphan?
At least my dad came back.
What are an orphan's least favorite shows?
"Full House" and "Fuller House."
What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?
Because he isn't wanted.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Why can't an orphan roleplay? Because they don't have parents.
I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.
The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
An orphan goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you need parent permission to enter."
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.