ANS jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
What do you call an epileptic in a swimming pool? A dishwasher.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"
Why are Spider-Man and an orphan so similar?
They both have "No Way Home."
What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.
I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.
Tracy Latimer was described as cheerful, popular at school, and as an animal lover.
Just trying to gas her up a little bit.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
What do you call an orphan being kidnapped?
A surprise adoption!!
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
I was going to tell an Asian joke, but it's too Wong.
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.