ANS jokes
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
Bread is like an orphan: plain and stale and no fam.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.