ANS jokes
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
Like if you know an orphan.
What's an orphan's least favorite movie?
Home.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?
The apples got picked!
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they gonna tell their parents?
What's an orphan's favorite game to play on Roblox? The game Adopt Me.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.
Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.