ANS jokes
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
I got detention for giving an emo kid a happy meal.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan has all their teeth intact.
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”