ANS jokes

My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.

So if you are bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.

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  • Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

    "Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.

    What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

    People actually have a use for one of them.

    I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.