Animal jokes
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck it off...
http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com has more zebra jokes.
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
Why did the chicken cross the plane to get to the other skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lloooooooooooooooooooool?
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows say, "Moo, not who."
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
I am a sheep.