Animal jokes
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet. Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college? Bye-son.
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
What do you call a sheep with wings?
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
You guys are cow-medians!
So funny!
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do big fat male cows have?
Moobs.
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!