And jokes

What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?

One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.

The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone.

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?

The frog might be on his way to a gig!

Why are orphans lucky?

Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.

Yeah, that was the punchline.

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

Why did the chief go to jail?

Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!

Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.

Yo mama so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they gave her the ocean.