And jokes

What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

My dad is now a milkman.

Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.

What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

They go to infinity and beyond.

What's the difference between a blind person and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

DARK ALERT********

A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.

DARK ALERT********

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.

What is cold and alone?

An orphan's parent.

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.

What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?

I haven’t banged a hooker.

Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.