And jokes

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."

Your mama is so ugly, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?

I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.

Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.

Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.

At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

What's stiff and 6 inches long?

SIDS.

I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.

What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?

I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

My girlfriend accused me of cheating, and I said to her, "You're starting to sound like my wife."

I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.