And jokes

Your forehead is so big you can headbutt my face and chest at the same time.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

What bounces up and down at 100mph?

A baby tied to the back of a truck.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?

You cry when you cut an onion.

Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?

What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?

One falls, while the other hangs.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.

Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Q: What’s the difference between apples and orphans?

A: Apples get picked.

Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"

Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.

What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?

They can both carve a new emotion.

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

What do Jesus and I have in common?

No one knows my real bday either.

What is the difference between 9/11 and rickrolling?

The Twin Towers gave up and let down.