And jokes

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

What's Michael Jackson's nickname?

Nivea black and white.

How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

Chloe Lutwyche, Bella Battese, and Hayley Wilson.

What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?

Dog poop touches grass.

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."

Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."

Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?

They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.

A Mario & Luigi joke.

What are the Mario bros' view on child support?

Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.

Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

Like this post and comment down below if you want me to announce my real name in my next post!

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?