And jokes

What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school today? And...

What time is it when you get home and you can't walk home?

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A bus full of kids.

Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.

Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.

Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.

Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!

Teacher: NANI!?!?

Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*

Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*

A question: When is (my name) happy?

Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*

Answer: Never, only a portion.

Friend: Do you need help?

Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"

Me and kid: hug.

Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.

What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?

"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"

Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?

Everybody knows nothing.

What do screen doors and blondes have in common?

The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?

Son: I don't know.

Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.

Best part about being an orphan?

Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"

The only hood I like is pointy and white.

That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.

Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.