And jokes

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll f*ck your mom, and you'll be next.

"You get no bitches," said the man to the 60-year-old redneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "Trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊

I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.

What do plus a pee and a nut... Nut pees, wait, pee nuts.

Orphans and punching bags are almost the same.

They both get hit, but a punching bag is still wanted.

"That's not my name, but okay, that's cool. My name is Coco, but okay, and I already knew Jayden was a boy who is bi."

What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.

I was watching Avengers and I thought I saw a grape, but it was just Thanos.

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

Yo mama so fat!

She sunk the Titanic. She put on a blue coat and they thought she was an iceberg!

Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?

Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.

What is the difference between you and Iron Man? You have a wonky hairline.

I'm an orphan, please stop it. It's not nice and it made me cry.

A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"

Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."

A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.

Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"