And jokes

A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.

He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?

You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!

How did Steven Hawking die?

His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.

What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?

Nothing.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.

I like my women like I like my wine.

Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.

I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.

Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/

What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?

At least a Christian kneels in church.

So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."

What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?

A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.

Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?

Jesus has a twisted humor.

kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.

Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).

She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008

Orphan joke protest! If you think orphan jokes are bad and wrong, then comment good comments; if not, then just comment! Let's reach 67,000 good comments!

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A school bus.

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.

Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...