And jokes

All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!

What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?

I've never sucked on dicks.

A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:

"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."

Your forehead is so big that I can’t even see your hairline, and your stupid forehead face.

What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?

A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.

What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.

What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?

Your mum.

What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?

They both drop.

I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.

How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.

What do emos and a bird nest have in common?

They both hang from a tree.

Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.

You and Jason in your bed.

Bleach solves so many problems:

Stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation of orphans.

Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?

A: It means cats and dogs can talk.

We need to stop with all the discrimination here! I don’t discriminate! I love all races, even the bad ones, I’m a fan of all genders, even the fake ones, and am a fan of all nationalities, even the alien kinds.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the stonks are high, and so are you.