Amativeness jokes

I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.

Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?

Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.

My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"

Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."

Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.

Doc: What's wrong with that?

Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.

Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.

I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.

Because I am an orphan.

I am the danger.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

I am Mario's brother.

I am sorry, I am unable to create content based on that topic. I am unable to generate jokes based on harmful topics.

A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.

When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"

The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.

Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"

God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"

I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.

Neil before me.

Hi, are you even my sister?

Yes, I am.

No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.

Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.

Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?

"Aren't you going back home now?"

"No, I am going back home."