Always

Always Jokes

Gay Man

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

Girlfriend

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

Kid

I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!

Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.

Nut

Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?

A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.

Rape

Rape is always unequivocally wrong.

Unless it's an AISH worker. Then you give her anal.

Rhyme

Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.

Vegetable

I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

Vegetable

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

Priest

A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."

She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.

The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

Poem

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Rose

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.

Text

Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.

Rapper

Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?

Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!

Golfer

Why do disabled people make good golfers?

Because they're always handicapped.