Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it ? Inter-net?
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of time.
Bf: Well it's either yes or no.
Gf: ...
Bf: Well when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
What kind of veggie is always getting it self into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid Cause they always leave you hanging
you should always be happy about family and love
So on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky. Dad: aren't the stars just wonderful? I'm not sure, from my angle all I see is clouds. Dad: Well come over hear and take a look. Boy: Damm, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!!! Dad: Well then I guess I will have too make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said... NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
You know why elmur fludd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods because bugs bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
My friend is blind. So he always says he cannot nazi .
When u go to the priests basement u will always find the popes body and his children in the corner of the room
he never has a bad day
because he always wake’s up on both sides on the bed
Why can’t orphans go on go big or go home?
Cuz they’d always have to go big as they have no home.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree? Cause she always dropped them.
Wanna hear a poop joke? Nah, they always stink
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
The cheetah had a race with a lion and the cheetah won, lion was like why you always a cheetah the cheetah was like why you always lion (lying).
Brother 2(1): We have these weird circles on the street! Government is trakin' us!!! Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And its the government. Brother 2(1): Then why are there two in the left turn lane Brother 1: So 1 car isn't always going left and stopping the others. Brother 2(1): Then why are they 1 car apart. Oh to have 3 people going. Brother 1: Correct. When i see 1 car on the first. i go on the 2nd so my light changes. Brother 2(1): You monster. Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight? Brother 2(1):HA. yo mama would trigger the sensor. Brother 1. ARG. its OUR MAMA your disrespecting. Mother (brother 1):whats going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY! Brother 2(1): i think you should take your pills. Brother 1: found them. *imaginary mother and brother fade away* thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him. btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
