Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
best friend makes 9/11 joke.
you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."
best friend: "I'm sorry."
you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
I unfriended Paul Walker on Xbox because he was always on the dashboard.
Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!
Coworker, why is Sara so blue?
Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
You should always be happy about family and love.
