Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.
I always say I'm single, which annoys my wife.
GWEN ARE YOU DEAD?????? IF NOT I AM ALYA THANKS FOR ALWAYS STANDING UP FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
why you always in a mood
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”
Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”
Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”
Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”
Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
