Always jokes
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
Why are apples and orphans the same?
They always get picked on.
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Who is always looking spot on?
The cheetahs.
Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.