Always jokes
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
...Because there's always a cast!
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
Chinese always proud of their principle in business.
The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
Why are apples and orphans the same?
They always get picked on.
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.