My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."
What did the titanic say as it was sinking?
I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
I replaced "Jingle Bells" with "Jiggle Balls"... "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!"
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael Jackson.
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
