Aliveness

Aliveness jokes

H20

    • Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.

    Only one man came out alive.

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    • Morbid jokes

    • a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion

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    • George Washington

    • Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?

    A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

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    • Aliveness memes

    Vocabulary

    • It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

    Baby

    • When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

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    • Depression

    • DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:

    * Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck

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    • Whale

    • So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.

    The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"

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