Aliveness Jokes

If Martin Luther King was white, what would they call him?

Alive

Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do? A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

what would MLK junior be if he was white.........alive

Two men walked into a bar and one man asked for H20 and the other man asked for H20 too.

Only one man came out alive.

sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive..

What's the difference between steven hawkings and a baby - the baby is still alive'\

Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?

They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.

i love my family when there buried alive

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die? ̈

You reply with: ̈Surrounded by friends ̈

19. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

roses are red, violates are blue, i don't know why i am still alive for you

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.

Thankfully I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.