New Airplane Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!

There were 5 people on an airplane.

1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world

The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."

"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."

The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.

The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.

The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.

Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"

And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"

doctor: you need to eat healthy.

me: no.

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.

me: oh my goodness.

doctor: in a plane crash.

me: that sounds unrelated.

doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

Why did the plane cross the sky?

To hit the Twin Towers...

Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?

Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"

Why did the caretaker of the Twin Towers get sacked?

He left the landing lights on.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

It isn't funny to joke about 9/11. The jokes tend to crash and burn.

McDonald's has a drive through.

Twin Towers has a fly through.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.