Agriculture jokes
What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
What do you call a cow that sleeps?
A bulldozer! 🐄💤
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?
Because it's stable.
Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know.
To get to the idiot house.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
The chicken.
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.
What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - u
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.