Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?
Cauliflower.
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
I lick cows for my mother.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
