Senility jokes

An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"

The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."

The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"

The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"

I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.

How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.

If Slade were any more SENILE, he’d be pH 7.

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

What is the best cure for aging?

Suicide.

Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."

Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"

Patient: "What condition?"

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer.