Aed jokes
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
A treatment joke.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!