Actuality jokes
How did Technoblade actually die?
He got stabbed!
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
Memes
screw global warming
Why do orphans love blowjobs?
Because they actually get kissed!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
Why do you play Call of Duty?
I actually don't know.
The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.
Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
The kid replied, "I'm not sad."
Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀
What's the difference between orphans and apple trees?
The apples actually get picked.
Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.