Abuse jokes

Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?

Early access.

What is a pedophile's favorite job?

The mall santa.

If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.

What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?

Adolf Hit Her.

I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?

A: Free delivery.

What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?

nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.

Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.

What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.

I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.

What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.

Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?

He ate 12-year-old nuts.

A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.

If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.

Me: "I like kids."

A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.

The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"