Abuse jokes

I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?

A: Free delivery.

What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?

nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.

When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.

When I woke, I was being sexually abused.

What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.

Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?

Early access.

What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.

Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?

He ate 12-year-old nuts.

A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.

If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.

Me: "I like kids."

A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.

The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"

Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"

Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"

Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."

Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".

He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"

Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."

Your dad never needed a van for you.

Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.

What do priests and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.