Abuse jokes
Me: "I like kids."
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
Woman beater and harasser ⬇️
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
Why was Michael Jackson fired as a guitar teacher?
Because he fingered a minor.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.