Why was Michael Jackson fired as a guitar teacher?
Because he fingered a minor.
Abuse Jokes
I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
