Absence

Absence jokes

Dad

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Orphan

Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.

Orphan: Go on then.

Me: Your family tree.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

Orphan

Why was the orphan so famous?

Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.

Dad

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

Orphan

The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.

Milk

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

Dad

POV: Your dad is gone.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad. LMAO.

Orphan

What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?

I actually come back with the milk.

Orphan

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.