Absence

Absence jokes

Dad

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

Orphan

Why can't an orphan play soccer on the home side of the field? They don't have a home!

Orphan

Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!

Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.

Teacher: Why not?

Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.

Orphan

Why can an orphan not do school work?

Because they have to take their work home to their parents.

Orphan

Why can't orphans go outside?

Because their parents aren't there to watch them!

Orphan

Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.

Orphan

What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?

A family photo.

Hairline

Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."

Orphan

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

Orphan

What's the difference between me and an orphan?

At least my dad came back.

Orphan

What is the difference between you and an orphan?

Orphans have zero family.

Ball

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.