Absence jokes
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
What do we call a family photograph of an orphan?
A selfie.
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents can't watch them!
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.
Why can't orphans play games?
Parents signed.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Why can't an orphan play soccer on the home side of the field? They don't have a home!
What do you call someone with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.