Absence jokes
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?
Dad: . . .
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Why can't an orphan play soccer on the home side of the field? They don't have a home!
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
Where's freshfry when I need him? :(
What is an orphan's least favorite song? We Are Family.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents can't watch them!
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."