Absence jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
So true
Dad?
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.
How do you call a mirror and an orphan?
Family reunion.
Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
What is a selfie of an orphan called?
A family photo.
We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.