Absence jokes
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
How do you call a mirror and an orphan?
Family reunion.
So true
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What is a selfie of an orphan called?
A family photo.
We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.