Absence jokes
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple always gets picked.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
Memes
So true
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
What is a selfie of an orphan called?
A family photo.
We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
Why is daonlyjuanhere an orphan?
Because he is the only one.
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.