Absence jokes
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.
Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
What's an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
Why do orphans eat breakfast with water?
The dad did not come home with the milk.
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...