From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
What's an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
Why couldn't the orphan go on a school trip?
A parent's signature was required.