Absence jokes

Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.

Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?

Because it was on strike.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know what a home looks like.

Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.

Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.

What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

What did the orphan say to his father?

Nothing, he doesn't have one.

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

What's an orphan's family photo?

A selfie.

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

Why do orphans eat breakfast with water?

The dad did not come home with the milk.

What is one word orphans can't spell?

Family.

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.

Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.

Friend: What kind?

Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.

Friend: That's not funny..

Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.

Friend: I'm calling your mom.

Me: She knows.

Friend: What's she doing to help, then?

Me: She's supposed to help?

Friend: Have you told your dad?

Me: I will when he comes back.

Friend: Where is he?

Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.

Friend: ....

Me: What?

Friend: Why?

Me: Why what?

Friend: Why would you joke like that?

Me: I was joking..

Friend: I know.

Me: Oh. I didn't know.

Friend:...

Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...

Why couldn't the orphan go on a school trip?

A parent's signature was required.

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."