Absence jokes

The "f" in orphan stands for family.

Except there is no "f."

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because dad never came back with the milk.

What issues don't orphans have?

Daddy issues.

Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?

Because it was on strike.

From your Dad.

I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.

Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.

What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

What did the orphan say to his father?

Nothing, he doesn't have one.

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

What's an orphan's family photo?

A selfie.

Why do orphans eat breakfast with water?

The dad did not come home with the milk.

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

What is one word orphans can't spell?

Family.

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.

Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.

Friend: What kind?

Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.

Friend: That's not funny..

Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.

Friend: I'm calling your mom.

Me: She knows.

Friend: What's she doing to help, then?

Me: She's supposed to help?

Friend: Have you told your dad?

Me: I will when he comes back.

Friend: Where is he?

Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.

Friend: ....

Me: What?

Friend: Why?

Me: Why what?

Friend: Why would you joke like that?

Me: I was joking..

Friend: I know.

Me: Oh. I didn't know.

Friend:...

Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...

Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.