Absence jokes

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."

I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.

What does an orphan call a family portrait?

A selfie.

I don't know, I don't have one.

What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.

Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

Because they need a parent signature.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back...

What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.

Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

Dad jokes.

The "f" in orphan stands for family.

Except there is no "f."

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because dad never came back with the milk.