What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Absence Jokes
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
'Cause she had no arms.
Knock, knock!! Who's there?
Not the girl.
What school can’t orphans go to?
Home school.
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
The "f" in orphan stands for family.
Except there is no "f."
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
