Absence jokes
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
I don't know, I don't have one.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
The "f" in orphan stands for family.
Except there is no "f."
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.