Abortion jokes
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
Abortion is bad.
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.