Simone

I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!

Trump should be grateful for DEI.

How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?

My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.

Trump got a new jet.

He's probably already licked the windows.

Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?

A. I forget.