Worst Jokes Ever
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?
He breaks his nose.
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Yo cuando no hago la tarea.
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
Kid 1: "It's a bird!"
Kid 2: "It's a plane!"
Me: "It's a terrorist!"
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
Who is going to start the robot takeover? Me.
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
Your hairline’s going backwards in Ohio.
your hair line goes so far the dinosaurs will see it
Why cant Americans play chess?
Because they lost their towers...