Worst Jokes Ever

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...

I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.

Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.

Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.

Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.

Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.

Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.

According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.

Why did the guitarist go to prison?

'Cause he fingered A minor.

- Mommy, I want a bicycle!

- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!

Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.

What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?

-"I want my quarterback."

Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.

Potato.

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

What do you call a Mexican Baptism?

Bean Dip.

I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."

- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?

- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!

What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?

My boner.