Worst Jokes Ever
No, you!
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
The Harry Potter fanbase.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.