Worst Jokes Ever
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.