Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"