Worst Jokes Ever
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
What hangs low?
Balls.
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
What atom presents TV shows?
David Atombrough.
Boy: I'm dead.
Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?
Boy: No, I was just born this way.
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
A man was taking a young child into the woods.
The young child said, "Mister, it's getting dark and I'm scared."
The man replied with, "How do you think I feel? I have to go back alone."
Terrance M.
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Why is Joe cool?
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!