Worst Jokes Ever
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call an old snowman?
Answer: Water.
Q: What kind of building weighs the least?
A: A lighthouse!
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a joke, so are you.
Mike, ID is coming tonight.
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Stop acting like an owl!
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Let me tell you a joke about pizza!
Never mind...
It's too cheesy.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Friend: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Short.
Me: Short who?
Friend: Short you!
Me: 🙁
Friend: 🤣
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.