Worst Jokes Ever

Who?

I love playing games with my family.

I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

I eat kids.

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?

A: One uses one nail to hang.

What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?

Eight-nothing.

So, two kids argued and insulted each other.

KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"

KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."

Do you know where priests go at night?

To all night sale at Boys R Us.

I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.

The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"

Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.

Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?

The maternity ward.

Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.

Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.

When you realize the person reading this is a clown.

You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

Friend, your mum's fat.

Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.

Um... (no idea what joke I should tell).