A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
"freshfry talk to me!"
Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!
Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.
Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.
Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!
Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!
Love you-Iariah
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?
Treon: How did you find that?!
Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!
Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!
Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!
Treon: We can't!
Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
Madeline Mcannot find her.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Please follow me at Mary.cristal03 on TikTok.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...
What do you mean cook? We wait till summer.
Alya and freshfry wondering where the hell Alex is!
What do you call a burned Mexican? A fried torteya.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
There's a plane crash. Every single person died.
Who lived? The married people!
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All of them are married!
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Answer: A promise.